On the First Day of Christmas

Never mind the Pfizer fazer, it’s Advent, and time to think about Christmas! The rules aren’t exactly easy to make out, though. After a couple of days with a cold towel round his head, Dr No thinks he has finally cracked Boris Johnson’s Christmas rules recipe.

On the first day of Christmas my neighbour came to me
My bubble in a pear tree
 
On the second day of Christmas my cousin came to me
Two joined homes, and
My bubble in a pear tree
 
On the third day of Christmas my daughter came to me
Three Boyfriends too 
Two joined homes, and
My bubble in a pear tree
 
On the fourth day of Christmas a few mates came to me
Four buddies best
Three Boyfriends too
Two joined homes, and
My bubble in a pear tree
 
On the fifth day of Christmas the vicar sent to me
Five old biddies
Four buddies best
Three Boyfriends too
Two joined homes, and
My bubble in a pear tree
 
On the sixth day of Christmas a bobby sent to me
Six hand-cuff pairs 
Five stinking fines 
Four cautions stiff
Three summonses
Two boys in blue, and
A squad car in a pear tree